{ musings }

Blazing!

"There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity." ~Washington Irving

I posted this over on the photoblog, but had to do it here, too.  This is my friend Jill:

 

Jill is on a journey.  Jill is blazing new trails like me, like so many of us.  It is not so much an uncharted trail as it is the path back to her authentic self.   She is a gorgeous woman...inside and out...and her journey is going to be stellar!  I am honored to call her my friend and to bear witness to the magic she is on the verge of creating in not only her life, but in the lives of the multitudes!  Seriously, people, this woman has a story to tell... stay tuned!

Contentment: Wanting What You've Got

“Contentment is a pearl of great price, and whoever procures it at the expense of ten thousand desires makes a wise and a happy purchase” -John Balguy

I'm blessed.  I recognize this and every day I am grateful for the thousand little things I *do* have which make my life so rich.  I am working with incredible focus to navigate my life with an assumption of blessedness and an air of gratitude, but dammit if sometimes I don't slip into that want-it-bad-gotta-have-it mode!

Why Kim (you say in shock and horror!)!  You?  Admitting to an imperfection?!  Yes, dear readers, I am most assuredly the most imperfect person I know.  I guess it could be worse.  I could have a penchant for ridiculous designer shoes and/or handbags, fabulous automobiles or couture wardrobes...but I do have weaknesses.  Here are two of them:

Food.  Intellectually, I understand that we eat food to live, but I live to enjoy food.  I love everything about it...the colors, the smells, the sounds it makes when its being prepared, the flavors, the emotions it evokes, the sharing of a meal with a loved one. I love watching TV cooking shows.  I love reading the food section of any newspaper.  I love pouring through foodie magazines.  I love reading restaurant reviews.  I love trying new recipes.  I love dining and fun new restaurants. I struggle with this daily, meal-by-meal, snack-by-snack.  I AM the potential 500 lb woman.  Even though my tummy says "hey brain, I'm full!" if a delicious cookie presents itself to me, I MUST eat it!  If I'm dining out and my tummy says "hey, brain, I'd be totally happy with a small salad" but then my eyes see a deliciously written menu option, I MUST order it! It sucks, but I'm working on it.

Camera Geekery.   I have a fucking awesome camera. It helps me create some fabulous images, is reliable, sturdy and pretty damn near everything I need.  But those evil geniuses at Nikon feel the need to release a newer, better, faster, bigger, zoomier, prettier, more fabulous camera every six months that makes my heart skip a few beats and my tummy get all butterfly-ey.  I just know that in my heart of hearts I will be quickly propelled to Annie Liebovitz skill level if only I acquire this amazing hunk of camera flesh but then the damned $8k price tag knocks me back to reality and I realize I'd be perfectly happy with this one.  Sigh.  Then I look at my wonderful D200 sitting over there on the corner of my desk looking at me with that pitiful "aren't I good enough for you anymore?!" look on its lens and admit I really should be content with what I have and also be happy to keep that spare $3k in my pocket!

Don't even get me started on some of my other want-its such as vintage ephemera, fragrances and/or scented bath products, or computer geekery...

I guess the question is while we are, by nature, bent towards wanting more, how does one live a life conscious of CONTENTMENT in place of DESIRE?  Is it even possible (short of donning the saffron robes and shaving our heads) in this society to aspire to such a place of purity?

What are the cravings that tempt YOU from that divine state of contentment?!

Life's A Beach

Ok, so yes, it sucks to be me right now.

NOT!

I feel guilty rubbing this view in your faces...for about a minute.  Then I remember the shit that life has dumped on me for the past five months and I realize i've EARNED IT!  I've done the work.  I've debraded the wounds.  I've explored the depths.  I've embraced reality.  I've said goodbye to broken dreams.  I've found an amazing volume of answers.  I have come full circle...back to my authentic self, ready for the next leg of this wondrous journey!

For the last week I've stayed up late, slept in late, ate too much good food, laughed until my sides ached, drank a few too many margaritas, ridden about 20+ miles on my beach cruiser, fallen off a skateboard several times, played frisbee with my dog on the beach, puttered around the channel on a boat, played poker, read two books, daydreamed about trips to wineries, sent TOO many text messages, caught up with old friends (and some new ones!), put on a bikini for the first time in MANY years, giggled & snuggled with my punks, worked on my tan lines, played in the surf, gotten sand in places where it shouldn't be, taken a ton of photos and generally SAVORED the richness which is life.  

Really, when I look at my life right now, I realize how incredibly BLESSED I am.  A few people have told me that I candy-coat it too much...that I should *embrace* my pain more...but I really don't buy it!  I tried it - and it just isn't my style.  I AM a "glass half full" girl and my glass is actually overflowing!

Reality will come soon enough when I return to the desert...but guess what?  I'm ready!  BRING IT!  But for now?  I am going to savor every last bit of this!!

The View Ain't Half Bad....

. . . right here and now!

Babies = Good Therapy!

And these two little cuties were JUST what I needed today!!!  Clearly, my punks loved them, too (even Alexis, who normally isn't a big fan of babies!!)!

Here is Olivia smooching Miss Teagan...

and here is Alexis having a good chuckle with Miss Boston...

Hey Teague....it was awfully nice of you and M to make such adorable and HAPPY babies for us Kwanettes to enjoy!!  Love you muchly!!

I Gots Me Some GOOD Friends!

The house is all decorated, the tree(s) are trimmed, the holiday cards are mailed, the cookies and treats are baked, the gifts are all bought and wrapped...I am finally feeling like I can breathe again!

Now that I am breathing again, I am reflective of how blessed I am to have such great people in my life!  Let's start with this girl:

When I was in Omaha last month, she and I did a "photo safari" with Cori and Charlotte and "swapped" mini-sessions to get ourselves new head-shots.  Of course, I LOVED shooting a woman as beautiful (inside & out!) as her, but when she just recently sent me the images she captured I was floored!  Not only did she get some great new head-shots for me...

which I actually LIKE (TIP:  It helps to hire a photographer who loves you...the magic just seems to happen!)

...she also grabbed some super fun ones of Cori and I together, which was a real treat for us since a) one or the other of us is ALWAYS behind the camera and b) we're scheming some BIG plans for Lulubellas after the fist of the new year...so these shots will be fun to use in promo materials!

 

With Christmas and my Birthday right around the corner, I've been lucky enough to spend a large part of this week with a bunch of my other dear, dear girlfriends.  It began last Sunday evening when Tena invited me to join her to see Spring Awakening (it rocked!), then was followed by lunch with 10 of my very best girlfriends on Wednesday, happy hour at The Mission with Jill and Becky last night, and a nice lunch at Olive & Ivy with Cori today. 

And lets not forget my many far-away friends...you KNOW who you are!  My sweet, crazy art pals who "get me," my long time high school and college friends who I don't see often, but can pick right back up with like we never missed a beat.  This year I've also been blessed to reconnect with many other long lost friends through the wacky worlds of FaceBook and LinkedIn...who woulda thunk?!  So surreal, but so comforting to reconnect with you as well!

All of this reminds me that I don't need presents of any kind any more...these sweet, wonderful souls I call my friends are the best gifts I could ever ask for!  They laugh with me, they scoop me up when I'm feeling low, they party like rock stars with me and are really so much of what keeps me going every day of my life!  I'm a lucky girl!

So....onto more mundane things....

This weekend we are equally busy....tonight Alexis and the 5th grade choir is going to be caroling at a gorgeous new outdoor mall here in Scottsdale called City North, and the family will no doubt follow that up with a bite out afterward.  Tomorrow our wonderful tennis coach is hosting a charitable event for our kids to meet and play a few sets with some of his inner city program kids and then to share lunch and a little gift wrapping.  Later Saturday the girls are getting their hair cut and Alexis will set off for a sleepover with her friends.  Little Olivia and I will be snuggling in for a fireside movie, popcorn and hot cocoa while the Hubs catches a Suns game with one of his pals.

Sunday, as I celebrate my birthday, I hope to just lay low with the family and wrap the day up with a nice dinner out and a movie with the Hubs. 

Perfectly perfect, I say!  I hope you are able to step back form the hustle and bustle of YOUR holiday season and take stock of the special people in YOUR lives!

AWESOME!

In the last of the marathon of photo sessions this weekend, this morning I met with my very favorite little baby-sized person, Miss Hannah and her Mom.   Hannah is quite possibly the prettiest little girl EVER BORN (yes, including my own) and I've been lucky enough to capture her cuteness many times over the past year +.

Mom is a crazy-talented graphic designer, so she and I jointly schemed on a vision for this shoot...and the cloudy, overcast skies blessed us this morning and made it MAGICAL!  There are probably 100 shots I love from the session (yes, it was one of those where it all WORKED) but here is my FAVE (so far!).  I'm sure there will be many more that tickle my fancy, but I have to pack for our T-Giving road trip and don't have time to proof or edit any more right now....

So now you know how a 1 year old will react to being placed in the middle of 400 candy canes!!! 

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

xoxo

Omaha Photo Safari

So many things to tell about Silver Bella and our magical long weekend in Omaha, but I thought I'd start early in the trip.

Early Thursday morning, while the rest of the Prima Bellas went on a junking antiquing road-trip, Charlotte, Cori and I met my good friend and AMAZING local photographer, Becky Novacek.  I had the pleasure of getting to know Becky quite well at Silver Bella 2006, and we've kept in touch over the past two years, while I watch her blossom into one of the most amazing photographers I know!  Needing new head-shots, and DREADING having my picture taken, I knew there was nobody I trusted more than sweet Becky to lovingly capture some images for me.  If you take photos for a living, you KNOW how hard it can be some times to put your trust in someone else's hands...but in Becky, I knew I was safe and loved!   I  can't wait to see what she came up with!

Anyway, she volunteered to pick us up from the hotel and in spite of a light drizzle of rain, we four managed to explore lots of fun and funky "locations" in and around the Old Market area.   Anything rusty, overgrown or brick-covered were our backdrops of choice, and we had a blast shooting photos of each other and of the group!  SO MAGICAL to be around another photog who shoots SO MUCH like me! Here are a few I snapped of HER in action (love you, Becky!!):

If you are ANYWHERE near Nebraska (oh heck, even if you aren't!) and need to have some photos taken, you really MUST chat with Becky!  She is so easy-going and personable...you can tell by these snapshots of her at work that she is one heckuva great gal!!!

If you want to see more of the photos from our safari, look here.

Oh...and here is one last one of my pal Cori...love it!

Spooky!

corpse bride 3, originally uploaded by bebe beaux.

Ok...Yes.  It freaks me out not just a little bit how much these two got "into" their Halloween roles.

The little one (not yet seven years old, mind you!) and the 'tween (almost eleven, going on 21) chose to be a "corpse bride" (hey Teague...recognize that dress?!)  and a "midnight faerie" respectively.  Loved the ideas...and loved the fact that they indulged dear old mom in helping them MAKE their costumes.  They were both VERY pelased with the end results...and I think the make-up was their favorite part, without a doubt!  More photos to follow, later! 

The Day Is Done

Another incredible reminder to breathe, savor and be grateful as seen from my back yard this evening.

Life IS good!